Nothing much has changed, you see. I’m still working really hard toward this arbitrary but all-consuming goal. I don’t know if I’m making any sense.

This summer has been hot. I’ve been suffering from styes every few weeks and it is sooooo annoying.

But one thing has to be said though, programming skills are no longer rusty and I think I found my favorite language to code in. I know I say this every semester. Last semester, it was PHP and now it’s VB.net. I love it, Intelli-Sense is my lover and he is generous.

LOL

My Programming 4 subject has been very demanding. Our teacher graduated BS-IT last March 2012. And a summa cum laude, no less. He’s green and so is his teaching methods. But it has trained me for the better. Everything I feel like I should have mastered a year ago is now deeply embedded in my brain. Coding exercises have become fun and time constraints are just challenges waiting to be overcome.

–

Kidding aside, life has been such a calm and steady routine lately. But anyway, I got to thinking about love and relationships in general.

Life is funny. One moment you meet someone, know someone and share your life with that someone but then sometimes, life brings you to different places. And people out grow each other. They drift apart, and its sad and tragic but more often than not, this is what happens to most couples without them realizing it.

So how do you cope when the person you fell inlove with is no longer the same? I know that people change but relationships are based on compatibilities and common grounds. What if that no longer exists?

I don’t know about you but I think that maybe instead of loving people for who they were or who they are, we should love them for who they can be. This brings so much possibility and room for improvement for anyone. The past shouldn’t matter and neither should the struggling present. It’s all about the future. Especially now when we are still grappling with adulthood and its implications.

Because I believe that love should not be about holding back. Love should be about growth.

I’m looking forward to what is termed to be the most grueling year for IT students. The 3rd.

Systems Analysis and Design. SAD year.

How apropos.

Like work, having money, travelling, not having to do anything for an entire day. Sleep. OH GOD YES SOME SLEEP

I can’t remember the last time I didn’t feel exhausted. I’m constantly on the move and although I’m not doing manual labor or anything that requires me to be physically fit, I am still mentally exhausted all the fucking time.

I look at my classmates and I swear they’re the youngest 19-year-olds I know. And they have the energy that would rival a meth junkie running on grade A shit. I’m wiped out just by watching them. I guess this is the lola in me talking.

And this lola be jellaz.~

Some things I need right now: Sleep and rest, a sober weekend, a little bit of perspective too, maybe.

Exam week. If this isn’t hell on earth, I don’t know what is.

January was when I was officially single on Facebook. It was a misunderstanding of epic proportions but it was a premonition of the things to come. After Bohol, I went to Davao for a vacation but I found myself coming back every few months. By February, I was absolutely, without a doubt, single. March came and April too, and all of a sudden, my family in Davao were visiting Dumaguete for the clan reunion. By May, I had climbed Mount Apo. June found me in a quagmire of bad habits and by July, I was back in Davao for good. I travelled to Surigao, Pantukan, Santa Cruz, Digos, everywhere accessible by bus, for the smallest of reasons. By September, I was contemplating of re-enrolling and quitting my freelance gigs. And in beautiful October, I was back in school. November was a blur and now, its almost 2012.

Honestly.

But don’t get me wrong. I have a LOT to be thankful for this year. My family, fragmented as we may be, have been nothing short of supportive and candid about my decisions, guiding me as to which paths to take. The friends that I have missed so badly are all within reach. Things have changed, certainly, but it’s all good. My relationship with God is steady, communing daily through our family’s prayer circle every morning. School has been a challenge, but it’s all going well. My programming skills are a little rusty but I’m enjoying Java, despite the learning curve (BLAME THE RETAKERS LELZ) and I found my new favorite subject, Database.

Drinking, holidays notwithstanding, has absolutely declined in frequency. IDK but I just don’t feel like it anymore. So I suppose this is where I write about my resolutions for next year.

1. Strengthen my relationship with God.

2. Lessen smoking.

3. Wear more feminine clothes.

4. Take better care of my skin.

You might notice the lack of a Christmas wishlist this year. And I know it’s cliche to say so but I have absolutely nothing more to ask for. I am content with what I have and thankful for what blessings may come my way.

2012, if you’re the end, then the end has come too soon. I’m only getting started.

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Any good story of redemption begins with a train wreck. Dumaguete has always been a safe haven, ask anyone who has been transplanted there. It is an idyllic town where they come as students at first, young and full of promise, and leave as educated adults. What they never fail to mention is the sense of being lulled into a bubble where everything is comfortable, easy and uncomplicated. Dumaguete is very easy to love but I remember resenting being sent there. After seeing what the city has to offer, a small town seems too cramped, too provincial.

But it grows on you, and what Dumaguete lacks in night life, shopping malls and pace, it more than makes up with charm and warmth and ease. My adult life has been spent shuffling between two cities that I love with fervent admiration equally. Not many can lay claim to have been influenced greatly by living in two cities, because one would always be relegated as the home town. But this fractured years that I have spent between these cities are nothing more than magnificent and cruel that I often feel torn.

I had every intention to come back in August but significant things were set in motion. I found myself extending and re-scheduling my flights twice before I gave up and realized that it was beyond my control. And all of a sudden, I was talking to friends about school and education and my future. Before I knew it, I was filing my reinstatement papers and enrolling.

Going back to school is tough. I’ve been employed for a long enough time to be comfortable with earning my own money. Having to go back to a student allowance is a challenge. But I’m getting old and I have to go somewhere with my life. I cannot go on with just existing and going from one post to the next. I owe it to myself to move and conquer my greatest hurdle – higher education.

Wish me luck and pray for me because the hardest things are yet to come.

Also, how great is Ceremonials? The new Florence and the Machine album. I can’t seem to get enough of it.

Ciao.

But Sundays are a god-send. I need a break. But the prospect of that is out the window. I’m back in school, with srs subjects this time. Haha. I say that because the last time I enrolled, I got crappy subjects that don’t really count. I’m not sure if that makes any sense but I’ve got 2 major subjects this sem. I’ve got the entire 2 years planned out and failure is not an option.

I actually believe I’ve got a shot this time around. I mean, the whole drinking everyday stage has passed. Seriously. I still bond with friends over the weekend but I don’t make it a priority. Last time, I didn’t give it my all. It was a half-assed half-baked plan to knock the socks off this higher education crap. But now? I can hold my head high and demand “Bring It”.

Funny how around this time last year, I was busy moving into my new room in Dumaguete. Buying sheets, mattresses, wiring and stuff. Remember that?! Yeah. And now I’ve got yet another brand new room in Davao after living in a dormitel for the past 3 months. I’m moving back for good. Leaving the small town behind and never looking back.

Pictures will follow.

Stick around, I might actually pull this off. Or turn it into another trainwreck. Whatever. As it turns out, everything’s up to me.

September means only one thing, much to the delight of TV junkies like me. Our favorite shows are returning, resolving cliff hangers and answering questions left hanging 6 months ago, along with new shows to either love or hate.

I’ve been relying on a couple of Plurk friends for news of new shows worth following. So far, I’ve seen the Revenge and New Girl pre-airs. Looks awesome. So without further ado…

• The Vampire Diaries
• Gossip Girl
• The Secret Circle
• Nikita
• Supernatural

Vampire Diaries is my second favorite show (right next to Doctor Who). IRL couple Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder just speaks to that squealing fan girl in me.  Also, season 2’s cliffhanger finale just left so many questions unanswered. What’s going to happen to Ripper Stefan? Will we ever see Elijah again? And the ghosts, and that kiss, THAT KISS! COME ON!

The Secret Circle’s promo piqued my interest. Instead of vampires and werewolves, we’ve got witches. I don’t even know if that’s a good thing.

• House
• Glee
• New Girl
• Fringe

IMHO, House has been skating by lately with mediocre episodes. Also, Lisa Cuddy is leaving the show. Who else can control House with such grace and patience? THAT’S RIGHT NO ONE!

I’ve downloaded and watched the New Girl pre-airing. Hilarious and witty, Zooey Deschanel delivers in a way only she can. Absolutely adorable.

• How I Met Your Mother
• The Big Bang Theory

These two need no more explanation. Barney and Sheldon should do a cross-over episode.

• Modern Family
• Revenge
• Charlie’s Angels
• Grey’s Anatomy
• Once Upon A Time

I shouldn’t be watching Grey’s Anatomy anymore but I do. Grey’s reminds me of a simpler time, great friends and how we bonded over this. The Revenge pre-air was nice and the lead is gorgeous. As for Charlie’s Angels and Once Upon A Time, well, they have good promos. I just hope they wont get cancelled.

How can you NOT watch Modern Family? This is my dose of light and goodhearted humor.

• Community
• The Office
• Chuck

I really should download The Office. I have season 1 but I’ve only watched a couple of episodes. So hopefully, when I finish downloading Fringe, The Office should be next. This year is Chuck’s final season and Morgan has the Intersect. And Community. If you don’t watch Community, we are no longer friends. The same also applies if you do watch Community but hate it.

• The Walking Dead
• Mad Men

Zombies and Don Draper. ’nuff said.

• Boardwalk Empire
• How To Make It In America

My biggest GetGlue regret was not watching Boardwalk Empire season 1 when everyone on Plurk was raving about it, I missed out on really awesome stickers. Even non-TV junkie friends were raving about it. And with good reason. Also, it will kill the time until Game of Thrones comes back. And I should catch up with How to Make It In America. Seen the pilot, wasn’t really that impressed. So, second chances.

• Being Human
• Misfits
• Skins
• Sherlock

Last year’s Sherlock was soooo bitin. Also, with Nathan and Mitchell gone from Misfits and Being Human respectively, I don’t see any point in watching the other shows anymore. If they don’t make an amazing first episode, I’m gone. The same goes for you, Skins.

27 shows. And that doesn’t include all the other shows I’m following and catching up on. I need a new external hard drive (not that Basilica is full) in order for me to fully get my ‘adik’ on.

You know what they say, if you’re going to start a habit, you might as well go all the way. All TV junkies take this shit seriously, nobody does it half-assed.

I’ll be returning to the island in a couple of weeks. I have a palpable feeling that its going to be the last and final time.

All these photos were taken one boring Sunday. Pasta with the half-siblings. Begged Sister to take some solo pictures of me for posterity. Lulz ensued.

LOL awkward leg is awkward.

Is this what 25 looks like? I say, not bad. Not bad at all.

And with the siblings in our front yard. Clicky to embiggen.

It’s back to school for me. Honestly, I’m excited to wear that white uniform again but kinda apprehensive too. It’s been wayyy to long and most of the people I know are gone, graduated.

I should blog more soon.

Oh, by the way – I turned 25 some days ago. It felt good. All is well.